Rad Gainz™ - Radiation-Ripened Protein
Glows Green. Grows Clean.™
🚨💪 WARNING: THIS PRODUCT IS NOT CLEARED FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION (but that never stopped a real lifter)
You've tried clean eating. You've tried dirty bulking. Now try irradiated swole saturation.
Introducing Rad Gainz™! The only protein powder aged inside an abandoned nuclear silo for maximum muscle mutation.
Just one scoop a day and you'll be crushing steel, bending rebar, and forgetting your name in no time.
Why settle for natural when you can go nuclear?
Benefits
✅ +5 STR
❌ -3 INT
❌ -1 CHA
Side Effects Include:
✔️Spontaneous flexing
✔️Extreme aggression
✔️Glorious, glistening gains
✔️Hair loss
Now with 200% RDA of enriched uranium!
DISCLAIMER
Not approved by Vault-Tec, Nuka-Cola, or the FDA. Do not use while pregnant, alive, or operating heavy machinery (unless you're the machinery now). If green glow persists for more than 6 hours, please continue. You’re becoming beautiful.
Our shirts are printed on Unisex Staple T-Shirt | Bella + Canvas 3001 shirts.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Size guide
| |
LENGTH (inches) |
WIDTH (inches) |
CHEST (inches) |
| XS |
27 |
16 ½ |
31-34 |
| S |
28 |
18 |
34-37 |
| M |
29 |
20 |
38-41 |
| L |
30 |
22 |
42-45 |
| XL |
31 |
24 |
46-49 |
| 2XL |
32 |
26 |
50-53 |
| 3XL |
33 |
28 |
54-57 |
| 4XL |
34 |
30 |
58-61 |
| 5XL |
35 |
31 |
62-65 |
